two steps forward...
I’ve engaged in many a conversation this week that have revealed a singular, universal thread- something has shifted in the past few days. To be more specific, it happened on Monday. (Last Monday to be exact, although this applies to the most recent Monday as well)
For us, this signified the day we were to go back to work, the kids back to school, and life would be back to “normal”…workouts, meet-up’s with friends, lunches out, routine, schedule…our seeming life anchors. (Are you nodding in agreement?)
When this didn’t happen, everything felt, well, weird. Off. Not right. Misplaced.
At first, I wasn’t able to identify exactly what IT was, then I came upon this article and breathed an audible and perhaps creepy sigh of relief. IT’S GRIEF!!! Massive, collective, universal grief. But please, read the lovely article and don’t just take my word for it.
Like all of you, I have noticed a dance- two steps forward one day, 5 steps back another, 3 forward another, and so on. The good news is the longer this goes on, (and I do think this is going to go on for quite a long time), the more I predict we will encounter a sense of stability in acceptance and creating new routines- “the new normal.”
I have also noticed that there’s a growing list of things that have really hit my sweet spot in the mental-health-funny-bone of my inner-most-child-true self-psyche. Please enjoy and share as you please:
Loud music. Music (more specifically, the arts) have been like Manuka honey to a raging dumpster fire of a sore throat- soothing, gooey, and fucking delicious. Nick Drake has been on repeat, for one, as well as the Stand by Me soundtrack. I find tuning in while prepping a meal to be the best combo as of yet…
…until I found tuning in while prepping a meal AND DANCING around my kitchen like a mad woman. This has been a go-to for me, as well as this and this. And speaking of dancing, check out this guy who hosts live dance parties and this woman, (who happens to be a brilliant writer, a hilarious improv actress, and quite the choreographer), for some definitive fun.
Like Madge croons, express yourself. Nothing fancy here. Sing a little ditty, make a funny looking pile of rocks in your yard, doodle with Mo Willems during the lunch hour, or write a haiku or two, but find a way to be creative that feels natural and realistic, not time-consuming and soul sucking.
Move that body. I have come to realize a new-found love for online workouts. Not only do I get my sweat on, release them endorphins, and feel good, I also get to feel like I am still part of a community from the comfort of my home. Check these ladies out for a great workout and this studio for an amazing array of donation-based yoga classes to suit any and all your needs.
When all else fails, hide in your bathroom. Soak up that alone time with a longer shower, savor that bath with an extended soak, or just sit on the shitter till your feet are all fuzzy and numb cause it’s the only room in the house where you can be totally alone for a long period of time. Is my “I’m a mom who now works from home with a husband who now works from home and we are expected to educate our children whilst working from home” tail showing???
And lastly, just stop. S-T-O-P.
I came across an article today that really spoke to me about this pressure that creeps in, (even in a freakin’ global, unprecedented pandemic no less), to do and be something that just doesn’t fit. It’s this continued busy-ness, this coercive influence to now complete a bunch of projects, hustle, hustle, HUSTLE, learn a new language and produce something- go, do it now!!! “Global catastrophes change the world, and this pandemic is very much akin to a major war. Even if we contain the Covid-19 crisis within a few months, the legacy of this pandemic will live with us for years, perhaps decades to come. It will change the way we move, build, learn, and connect. There is simply no way that our lives will resume as if this had never happened. And so, while it may feel good in the moment, it is foolish to dive into a frenzy of activity or obsess about your scholarly productivity right now. That is denial and delusion. The emotionally and spiritually sane response is to prepare to be forever changed.”
You can read more about this here, but please, whatever you do or don’t do is absolutely fine. Just wash your hands, help out where you can, wear your mask, be kind, to others and yourself, support your community where you can, wash your butt, hell, buy a bidet perhaps, and when you really need it, review all of the above, as often as you need to and as passionately as you need to.
We will get through this. We will get through this. We will get through this.
