jesus, did any of us

We watched Stand By Me for the first time with our 9 year-old daughter a few weeks ago. It was a special night, as little brother was away on a sleepover with Grammy, so we wanted to allow her to watch something more “big kiddish.” We looked at a variety of movies that she hadn’t seen yet and narrowed it down to this one, Weird Science, and although we knew it was in the “not yet” category, Pretty in Pink. Through a quick glance at commonsense media online, (which, damn, please take that shit with a grain of salt), we decided on Stand By Me, especially since she had been listening to the soundtrack from in utero to present day, and now was going to be able to put a face with a name, so to speak.

First off, daaaaaaaaamn. The language. I totally forgot about the language. We are really fine with it because she knows all the words already anyway and she is intelligent enough to know not to use them outside the house, but I truly don’t remember it being so balls deep in cuss words. (I’ll save a separate blog just for showing your kiddo your own childhood movies for another time because that is interesting in and of itself.)

Somewhat-short-blog-short, she loved it and enjoys the soundtrack even more now as a result. Win!

Coupled with a heaping dose of nostalgia, more than anything, re-watching it with her made me excited for and curious about what her friends will be like at that time. Who will make it to her inner-circle and what sort of trouble will they get into?

Much like the movie, I too was in a very tight-knit foursome at this time of my life.

It was the 7th grade and I had just transferred into a very small, very uniformed Catholic school, where half of the class had attended for at least several years, and some, going back to Kindergarten. It was very intimidating to say the least. I think I may have been the only new kid in our class that year…in a class size of 22 maybe? So I was new AND stood out. Always the best formula for comfort and confidence. HOWEVER, I prevailed in both of the afore mentioned categories, and came out relatively unscathed, (ahem, we are talking about a Catholic school here), with some great friendships to boot. So let me tell you a bit about them, as they relate to the movie.

First up is Miss Ash Kash, AKA Corporal Teddy Duchamp.

To me, Teddy was edgy and cool. He smoked, cussed, had a temper, and a rough life but, he also had this air of coolness to him that was magnetic. He was also competitive and witty as balls- quick to one up you when he got the chance.

Ashley was like this. She had a hot older brother, which is nothing like Teddy Duchamp, but an important fact and a great segue into her introduction. She literally was Janaene Garafolo from the 90’s. Street smart, way too fucking cool for school, crazy funny, complete with barrettes in her hair and a g-dam lunch box in hand. She introduced me to a lot of punk music and was the first one to get me to smoke- out of a freakin’ empty can of soda, no less. Plus, she would rip off your head and shit down your neck if need be. You were lucky to be on her good side and you didn’t cross her. Period.

Jess- Chris Chambers

This guy. This guy is the friend both everyone wants to have and everyone wants to be. He is effortlessly cool because, at his core, he is kind. He genuinely wants his friends to shine their individual lights and is their greatest cheerleader. He is loyal and has your back no matter what.

Cut to Jess. Jess was my welcome committee at this new and scary venture in my life. She made me feel accepted, wanted, appreciated, and comfortable. She also had great taste in music and I could always be my weird, quirky self around her because I knew she would happily meet me with her own freak flag. To this day, I know I can contact her if I need anything and she would do her damnedest to try to make it happen. She is a gem among humans and I am lucky she is still in my life.

Nicole/me- Gordie Lachance

Gordie is a bit of a loner. Often in his head, either analyzing things, reminiscing, or making up stories about his life, intertwined with fantasies and of course, the great barf-o-rama. Sure he’s wicked smart and creative, but he can also be more on the serious side, a bit broody and angsty. Although he is friends with many people, he seems to do better 1:1, carefully choosing who to let in and in what way. He can both stand alone and operate as your best side kick.

Nicole was smart, creative, and talented. She was thoughtful, careful and precise. You could have the most intelligently creative conversation with her 1:1 and then blend right back into the group, effortlessly. Her talent was theatre and dance and she was enthralling to watch. She could also brood and angst the night away with you, or fly solo. She was a chameleon in that way. Everyone needs a Nicole in their corner, for variety and depth’s sake.

Nicole and I were very much alike. In fact, all of the above could be said for me as well, and if you have read any of my other blog entries, you will know this as fact.

Me- Vern Tessio

Lastly, we have ole, sweet Verno. Vern was an over-planner and an over-thinker. He also was the nerdiest and the most naturally uncool. When everyone was tasked with bringing something to contribute on their dead-body-viewing campout sesh, he brought the comb, for fucks sake. He was definitely an integral part of the group, but because of the afore mentioned characteristics, was a bit of an outlier.

I was Vern. Especially in this foursome. These three had known each other for years, so while I may have been the shiny, new toy, I was the lucky add on as well. I also brought the fucking comb, and as a result, was the butt of a lot of jokes in the group. But even though this was the case, both for old Verno and me, it was very apparent that he/I were loved and the group wouldn’t have been the story that it is now without us.

There’s a little bit of all four of these characters in each of us. Much like The Breakfast Club, we are all the sharp, smart ass, the loyal BFF, the brooding intelligent one, and the bringer of the comb. As a parent, I can only hope that my kids have their own version of what it feels like to be a part of a tight group of friends like this. I know for me, it felt like comfort, tasted like laughter, smelled like weirdness, and sounded like love. Shit, what else can you ask for?