Enjoy the Silence
Like tea leaves immersed in hot water, when was the last time you were steeped in deafening silence?
Much like meditation, you really only know you are in it when you no longer are; when you're yanked out of it, like being sucked through a Donnie Darko-esque portal, only then you realize that you were just in a blissful state and you're simple awareness of said state is what brought you out of it.
I was able to experience deafening silence a few weeks ago. I think it had actually been so long since I had known such a state that my body forgot what it was like and my brain had to remind it what was happening, and that everything was truly okay, brilliant in fact.
To be clear, I am not talking about silence. A hush. A pause. Or even prolonged silence.
I am speaking of DEAFENING silence. Where it so quiet for a period of time that all you can hear is your breath, but you cannot tell if it is near or far and the ringing in your ears becomes a hypnotic mantra of sound, washing over you and rushing through you like a silent train of adrenaline, followed by the loudest, most inaudible sigh heard round the world.
Sound familiar? If so, good for you. I literally cannot remember the last time that I created a space for this to occur. Even half the meditations that I do lately are guided, meaning, I listen to someone else's voice in my head, apart from my own. Like I really need any more voices in there...
Being a wife and a mother of two under the age of six, I know that silence is indeed golden. But this kind of silence is so rare, so uncommonly singular, much like our chances of winning the lottery, seeing that green flash, meeting and talking to a unicorn, or understanding how David Blaine really does it.
In fact, let me share with you what actually needed to happen in order for me to achieve this brief, yet glorious period in my life and how it happened at all:
First, it was my husband and a friend. Then, it was just me, myself, and I. Then back again, plus a few others.
We were gifted with the opportunity of going to a private, residential area on island where we had access to a *magic* spa, enchanted gardens to watch the sunset from, with a previously unseen view and fresh angle of this place we call home, and the ability to meet new and extremely kind people.
Approximately two lovely weeks ago.
Kids were left with a trusted family member, so much so that I did not need to worry about checking my phone for a long period of time. (These people are a rare breed indeed and must always be kept close for safe keeping)
We were invited to an amazing place via a friend of my husband.
We live in a beautiful place where spaces like this exist.
Since my deafening silence moment happened at the spa, here is how it occurred:
Arrive at spa and am greeted by a lovely woman who walked me through each step, waiting for me and on me each step of the way.
Sauna with mister and fresh-herb-infused-frozen-in-ice-water.
Cold shower, washing with fancy body wash and leave in conditioner that resembled seaweed and mud.
My favorite part. The steam room- an all glass room surrounded by lush greenery. Accompanied with another round of liquid luck water, some aromatic oil placed on my lungs area to allow for deep breathing, and a coconut infused salt rub in a clam shell. (*THIS* is where my deafening silence experience occurred)
Repeat several times.
Shower and utilize till my hearts content the vast array of body, face, and hair products.
Chill in comfy chairs and eat and drink all the amazing things which are stocked plentifully in fridges, including organic chocolates, coconut water, and probiotic drinks, as well as frozen pineapple on a stick.
This. All of this needed to occur, piece by piece, cogs, cranks, screws and all, in a specific order no less, just so I could experience deafening silence.
I would do it all again in a heartbeat and I have a feeling that when the space is created for it to occur again, when the stars are aligned and the water is just right, my body will remember it this time and all will be melted away but the breath...because all I ever wanted, all I ever needed, is here in my arms.
What's your deafening silence story?